You're Sovereign Still

Like everyone else, I'm not sure how to process my thoughts and emotions about the evil and devastating thing that happened Friday in Newtown, Connecticut.  Based on what I have heard on the radio and read on the Internet, I can only imagine what it might be like for that community and those families, but I'm sure my imagining doesn't come close to their reality.

Still, my heart grieves along with them and the rest of the world who share a piece of the hurt and sadness.  Like almost every other parent with children in school that I've talked to over the past few days, I had that feeling of wanting to immediately drive to my children's school Friday and take them home with me.  I did hug each of them extra long when they got off the bus and inside the house Friday.  They saw my tears, and I explained what had happened.  We prayed about it multiple times over the weekend, and will continue to pray.

Saturday we spent all day at home as a family, treasuring the time we had together.  Caeden and I snuggled in the recliner and played on the iPad.  The kids made pancakes together. They picked up their rooms, and as I vacuumed in the girls' closet, I noticed the elaborate set-up they have for their Barbies--not just the big house, but a series of shoeboxes, blankets, and containers making up a mall, a barn, and other places their dolls can go.  I mentioned it to them, and they excitedly told me how much fun they have playing with it.  I'm glad they are enjoying their childhood play--especially Annah at 12 years old--and that they are able to play with innocence and joy.

The girls and Jeremy mixed up 4 batches of dough Saturday and made dozens of peppermint cookies yesterday--one of their favorite Christmastime traditions with their daddy.  Caeden and Jeremy played quite a bit of Madden together on the Wii over the weekend.  Saturday night, while Jeremy was setting up for church, the kids and I had popcorn and oranges and played 4 rounds of Pounce.  The girls played their violin duet of What Child of This for me yesterday, and tears just streamed down my face as I watched and listened to them.  

I am so incredibly grateful for these precious moments, and I praise the Lord for allowing us to live this life--filled with his peace and joy.

Saturday, as I looked over the songs the worship team was going to do during Sunday's service, I saw that one of the songs I was to lead was None but Jesus (Hillsong).  As I read and prayed through the lyrics, my heart broke at these lyrics in the second verse:

In the chaos

In confusion I know

You're sovereign still

I immediately thought of the chaos and confusion that those in Sandy Hook Elementary School found themselves in the midst of on Friday, and the chaos and confusion that is now left in their community--and rippling out across the world in sympathy for them and fear that it could happen again in our own places.  I have made these lyrics my prayer all weekend.  

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Today, at PoC we talked about anger.  In PoC Kidz, they made "Happy Birds" characters, instead of "Angry Birds."  And they did a beautiful exercise where they wrote down something they were angry about, then the teacher wrote the things on the board so it be anonymous.  They learned about forgiveness being a choice, and had the opportunity to take the eraser and go forward and forgive/erase their anger.  (Caeden said that in this picture he was forgiving Annah.)

We had a send-off reception for our dear friend Staci, who will be leaving in 3 weeks to serve in Papua New Guinea for a year as a nurse/nursing teacher.  I can't even put into words how much we will miss her, and even more how much God is going to use her there!  She is an inspiration, a blessing, and a beautiful soul.

"Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling,  for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose. 
 Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation. Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life. And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain." 

- Philippians 2:12-16