Every morning this week Annah has told me she doesn't feel well and doesn't want to go to school. She is so tired, and when she gets tired, she gets weepy.
Every morning this week, I have sent her off to school--after drying the tears and pushing past them to get ready for the day. I feel like she probably thinks I don't believe her when I send her to school even though she says she doesn't feel well.
But, I can tell she's not physically sick. She is exhausted. Every night this week (and many nights other weeks too) we have had activities keeping her up until 9:00 or later. She has to get up at 7:00 every morning to get ready to meet the bus at 7:45. She has been running a mile every day in P.E. class. She needs more sleep.
But also, she is worrying. She has been weepy and saying she doesn't feel well every night this week too. Last night she came in bed with us in the middle of the night, and refused to go back to her own bed when Jeremy got up this morning. She burst into tears immediately when I told her it was time to get up this morning. Jeremy had a conversation with her the other night when she was so upset. He asked her if she was worried or nervous about something, and it came out that she was. She is afraid of getting a bad grade on a paper, she said.
Last month, she had a group of papers coming home that were not completed to the best of her abilities. So we had talks about trying her hardest, paying attention, reading and following directions, and asking questions when she doesn't understand. Immediately, her papers improved. But apparently, she now thinks she has to do everything perfectly.
This morning she told me she is nervous about her mile test tomorrow. All of 1st grade is running the mile tomorrow for a 'test.' So I explained to her that I could care less
how she runs the mile, or even if she runs the whole thing. As long as she tries, I am just amazed and thankful that she can run at all, and SO proud of her!
Annah is such an amazing little person. It scares me to see these worries and insecurities in her heart--especially affecting her so physically and obviously emotionally.
I remember doing the same thing when I was in kindergarten. I would tell my mom I felt sick every morning before school, and she would always make me go anyway. Now, realizing my worrying nature and incredible fear of disappointing someone, I wonder what I was really thinking and feeling back then.
I tried to encourage Annah this morning, and tried to build her up. She was a little bit perky as she left the house. I said Philippians 4:13 with her three times this morning, to remind her that the Lord is always with her, helping her do everything!
I pray her heart is peaceful and encouraged throughout the day. And I pray that we will keep our schedule in check, so she will be well-rested.