Rough Mommy Days

Some days lately I've had a rough time being a mommy. Today was one.

Have I mentioned here before that I've decided my son is definitely a "stong-willed" child? Well, I have recently come to that conclusion. I used to wonder what that term really meant, but I am beginning to see it more clearly with each passing day! Caeden definitely fits the bill. He will do the exact opposite of what he is told. When he doesn't get his way, there is an uproar of some sort...nasty words towards the one (usually me) who won't let him have his way, or a tantrum, or literally running from me, screaming, hitting/punching/kicking, threats...things I never would imagine a little child would have in his/her soul (or even just their mouth!) without being taught them!

Let's have a little example...

Today, Caeden and I were grocery shopping at Wal-Mart. As soon as we entered the store, he said he didn't want to ride in the cart; he wanted to help push. I reminded him that if he disobeyed, he would have to ride. 15 seconds later he was taking off with the card, heading towards a display rack at full-speed. I had to force him into the cart and buckle him in while calmly explaining why as he screamed and kicked, saying, "I don't like you!!" over and over for the next 5 minutes.

After we had been in the store a while and I had not allowed several things Caeden had asked for, he asked for something else and I told him no. All of a sudden he was saying, "Mommy I don't want to live with you any more. You don't belong to me. Die. Die Mommy. Go away from me. Mommy, go die. Die Mommy. Die Mommy...." I know at least one store employee heard him, because I saw him looking at us. I stopped the cart at the end of an aisle and walked down the aisle as Caeden continued hurling horrible words at me. I went around the end of the aisle, where I could see him, but he couldn't see me, and walked back up the other side of it. He had stopped by the time I got to the cart. I'm sure it wasn't the right way to handle the situation (yes I could see [and hear!] him the whole time), but I had to step away for a second.

Caeden has recently started telling me several times a day that he doesn't like me. He says all kinds of awful things that I am always shocked to hear come out of his mouth. I know he is trying to think of the worst possible things he can say to show how upset he is, but wow, it can get to a mommy's heart!

There were lots of [my] tears and prayers in the car on the way home from the store today. I can see I have my work cut out for me with this boy. It is a constant workout and battle of the wills. Too bad for him, I am pretty stubborn too and will not let him win.

A friend recently loaned me Kendra Smiley's book Aaron's Way, which is about raising a strong-willed child. She also loaned me Dr. Dobson's book, Bringing Up Boys, which I haven't started yet. I did spend some time on the Focus on the Family site today, checking out some articles about the strong-willed child.

I need to pray more fervently for my children. And, with Caeden especially, I need to learn to discipline without emotion. That is hard for a girl who wears her heart on her sleeve and also breaks into tears a few times a day! God give me wisdom...!